Gender inequality and discrimination

 GENDER INEQUALITY AND DISCRIMINATION

Not only from birth are both male and female offspring raised differently, but even from pre-birth, when the mother and the rest of the family get to know that the coming family member will be a girl, they get upset as if someone in their family has died. Even from the 5th month, when an ultrasound reveals the gender of the baby, a mother’s attitude is very different in both cases. If she finds out that she will give birth to a baby boy, no one can find an example parallel to her happiness. But if she finds out that she will give birth to a baby girl, she starts crying and develops anxiety within no time. She does not kill her because of her fear of Allah, but some parents do not fear Allah and abort the little flower that would have fragranced their garden—just because of her gender.

Here, I am only concerned with modern Pakhtoon society because I do not have any idea or experience of other cultures. Modern Pakhtoons consider women insignificant, and although this issue is limited to some families, gender inequality is common in all. Mostly, I see boys feeling proud of being Pakhtoon, but I have never seen a girl feeling proud of being born into a Pakhtoon family. The reason is that this culture has snatched her real identity, her values, and even her position from her.

I will mention the same things happening in my family, my surroundings, my relatives, and my neighbors first.

There are families I have seen within my boundaries that do not send their daughters to school to get an education, which is their basic right. Yet, the same families take on debt to educate their sons in the best schools in the city. Doesn’t that seem like inequality to you? As a result, none of the girls in their families are educated. They do not have the ability to survive in today’s society, and anyone can fool them. Let's suppose they have a medical emergency at home in the absence of men—what will they do then? Would they die on the spot? Or would they come onto the road to ask for help?

This is just one part of their daily struggles; they can face so many problems. These are the little things that we ignore but are actually not insignificant at all. These women can never give birth to the youth of Iqbal—the ones who will be the pillars of society and govern the country. Today, it is even clearer that there is no single man to fight for his rights; they are cowards, sitting at home wearing bangles.

We live in a society where if a girl wants to marry someone of her choice, she is regarded as characterless, immodest, or shameless. But if a boy from the same family is involved with 5 to 10 girls at a time, and all of the family members know about it, no one stops him—not even his father, mother, or grandfather. Even when they want to arrange a marriage for their son, they first ask him, "Tell us if you love someone and want to marry her." Yet, for their daughters, they say "Qabool hai" without even considering her opinion. If she protests, they are ready to shoot her and throw her body in front of dogs. The most shameful thing is that they name this Pakhtoonism.

This is not Pakhtoonism. It is actually against Pakhtoon culture. Pakhtoons were people who considered all the girls of their society, neighborhood, and area as their own sisters. They were the brave people of history, but their bravery was not limited to oppressing their women. Pakhtoons were people who did not even raise a single glance at other women.

The Pakhtoon culture shown to us through dramas and TV shows is completely wrong. I have heard from my parents and grandparents that they used to watch TV in their neighbor’s house, boys and girls in the same room together, and return home at midnight. They used to play within the specific area of their street, playing cricket or hopscotch. That was the real Pakhtoon culture. Their minds were clear; they were truly green flags.

Modern Pakhtoons just use the name of their ancestors in the wrong way. Their so-called bravery is just limited to controlling their sisters and daughters. I believe that a true Pakhtoon is one who respects and cares for all girls the same way he cares for the girls in his own home.

This is the time to change your mindset because your daughters are facing big problems, but they are not sharing them with you because they know you will be the first to consider them wrong.

When a girl receives an unknown call, she becomes characterless in the eyes of every family member. But the same family sees their son talking to girls all night and never questions him. They ignore it as if nothing happened.

You might have checked the contact lists of your children. Your daughter does not use a single emoji with the name of her best friend because of your negative thinking. But your son has more than 100 contact numbers of girls, whether Pakistani, Indian, or from other countries. He chats with them in front of you, yet you never stop him—because he is a so-called boy.

Your daughters are dying of fear. Have you ever asked them about the problems they are facing? Not all dark skin tones are caused by sun rays—some are due to the stress and struggles they endure. Not all faces become fair because of whitening creams; brighten your daughters' faces with trust, not with serums.

Dear Parents,

It is a humble request: do not place the crown of honor on your daughters’ heads only. They are not strong enough to carry it alone. At least trust them. Listen to them. Give them time to explain. Understand them. But do not destroy them. If you support them, they will never seek love and care elsewhere.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

 GIVE THEM A PISTOL IN THEIR HAND AND ASK THEM TO SHOOT EVEN WHEN SOMEONE LOOKS AT THEM WITH BAD INTENTIONS—AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.

Even Islam and the Quran do not discriminate between men and women—so how can you?

Don’t you have to answer to Allah? Don’t you fear Him? Haven’t you read the ayah that says:

"FEAR GOD IN MATTERS RELATING TO YOUR WOMEN."

Mahnoor Ali 

1st year MBBS 

SWAT MEDICAL COLLEGE