The Main Causes of Malpractice in Today’s Society

All of us are familiar with the malpractices in society, including the actions teenagers take and the paths they adopt for comfort and fame, such as smoking, drug addiction, sharing immoral videos on social media, and engaging in other unethical activities. Our parents, teachers, younger siblings, elders, relatives, and peers are aware of these issues. However, unfortunately, we do not understand them, nor do we know the reasons behind these problems.

I agree that teenagers are difficult to handle as they go through various physical and hormonal changes during adolescence. Sometimes, they need help managing academic, peer, and parental pressure simultaneously. This often results in erratic behavior that upsets the adults around them, such as parents, teachers, and relatives. I have observed many parents in my surroundings controlling their children in the wrong way. Since the situation is now beyond their control, it leads to numerous irregularities in the behavior and activities of young people. Unfortunately, they are unaware that they are involved in such a serious issue. But trust me, when we exercise patience, respect, and understanding towards these children, they can be very loving and respectful.

Before moving towards the main purpose of today's article, which I believe is very important to discuss and understand—especially for parents—I have a question that might have also arisen in your minds. What causes your kids to be involved in such evils?

In my view, there are three main causes of this issue, but the primary cause is parental behavior. Yes, I repeat: Parents have destroyed their children's lives by never teaching them how to live according to the teachings of Islam. I might be wrong, but I believe today's parents do not teach their children how to live according to the rules and regulations of Islam, which is a complete code of life. Even when a child is born and we recite the Azan in his ears to affirm his identity as a Muslim, he still does not understand what it truly means to be a Muslim, even when he becomes a teenager. They do not even know the purpose of their lives, leading them to set the wrong goals, which ultimately hurt both them and their parents.

As we all know, a mother's lap is regarded as the first university of an infant. This means it is her responsibility to teach her children how to live a meaningful life. She should teach them to differentiate between good and bad, so they do not mix the two. I am not saying that this is the only responsibility of the mother; even a father is also responsible for this. I think every parent should teach their children about Seerat un Nabi instead of focusing on teaching them things like how to ask for water in English or the parts of the body. They should focus on teaching their children religious norms and values rather than emphasizing the learning of English. I do not mean to say that learning English is bad, but my point is that at such a young age, the priority should be learning about their religion. I have seen many parents teaching their children about Western culture, thinking that it will lead them to success, but believe me, these kids will treat you the same way Westerners treat their parents. As the famous quote says, "You will reap as you sow."

Today, when parents are busy or tired, they give their kids a mobile phone or TV remote to keep them occupied, but this behavior harms their children.

In my view, parents must tell their children the stories of the prophets instead of allowing them to watch cartoons like Cinderella. By doing this, they will learn how to spend each and every second wisely, and these children will never disobey their parents.

The second cause, in my opinion, is misunderstanding. Parents should understand the mental, physical, and emotional conditions of their children. When their children make mistakes, they should understand them first without resorting to punishment or taunting. Punishing them will only make them stubborn. Misunderstanding has destroyed youngsters mentally and emotionally, which leads them to smoking in order to relax. Smoking is the worst way to relieve stress, and this is not their mistake because no one has taught them how to share their problems with their Creator and find peace through prayer. Instead of alleviating their sorrows through Sujood, they choose to escape their troubles by smoking cigarettes.

The third cause is the lack of a friendly  relationship between parents and their children. Parents often fail to provide a friendly environment or develop a close relationship with their children. As a result, children seek friendships outside, in schools, society, and especially on social media, where they share their secrets with others. They want someone to listen to them, and these environments often have people with different ideologies, cultural beliefs, and religious practices, which may not align with the parents' norms. However, the bond of addiction and attachment to these friends is much stronger than blood relations. If parents were available for their children when they needed them, their children would not seek the company of others. Their secrets would remain safe, and they would not be hurt or betrayed. I believe a mother must be the best friend of her daughter, and a father must be very friendly with his son. This way, there will be a better understanding between them, and they will lead a beautiful life. They will never be negative and will never harm others. These children will lead peaceful lives according to the teachings of Islam.

I am sorry if I have been too harsh or wrong in some areas, but this is the inner voice of your children. These are the things I have observed in my surroundings and sometimes in myself as well. These points should be carefully considered, as they may help us protect the next generation from these malpractices.

 

 MAHNOOR ALI

 1^ST YEAR MBBS STUDENT  

 SWAT MEDICAL COLLEGE

Gender inequality and discrimination

 GENDER INEQUALITY AND DISCRIMINATION

Not only from birth are both male and female offspring raised differently, but even from pre-birth, when the mother and the rest of the family get to know that the coming family member will be a girl, they get upset as if someone in their family has died. Even from the 5th month, when an ultrasound reveals the gender of the baby, a mother’s attitude is very different in both cases. If she finds out that she will give birth to a baby boy, no one can find an example parallel to her happiness. But if she finds out that she will give birth to a baby girl, she starts crying and develops anxiety within no time. She does not kill her because of her fear of Allah, but some parents do not fear Allah and abort the little flower that would have fragranced their garden—just because of her gender.

Here, I am only concerned with modern Pakhtoon society because I do not have any idea or experience of other cultures. Modern Pakhtoons consider women insignificant, and although this issue is limited to some families, gender inequality is common in all. Mostly, I see boys feeling proud of being Pakhtoon, but I have never seen a girl feeling proud of being born into a Pakhtoon family. The reason is that this culture has snatched her real identity, her values, and even her position from her.

I will mention the same things happening in my family, my surroundings, my relatives, and my neighbors first.

There are families I have seen within my boundaries that do not send their daughters to school to get an education, which is their basic right. Yet, the same families take on debt to educate their sons in the best schools in the city. Doesn’t that seem like inequality to you? As a result, none of the girls in their families are educated. They do not have the ability to survive in today’s society, and anyone can fool them. Let's suppose they have a medical emergency at home in the absence of men—what will they do then? Would they die on the spot? Or would they come onto the road to ask for help?

This is just one part of their daily struggles; they can face so many problems. These are the little things that we ignore but are actually not insignificant at all. These women can never give birth to the youth of Iqbal—the ones who will be the pillars of society and govern the country. Today, it is even clearer that there is no single man to fight for his rights; they are cowards, sitting at home wearing bangles.

We live in a society where if a girl wants to marry someone of her choice, she is regarded as characterless, immodest, or shameless. But if a boy from the same family is involved with 5 to 10 girls at a time, and all of the family members know about it, no one stops him—not even his father, mother, or grandfather. Even when they want to arrange a marriage for their son, they first ask him, "Tell us if you love someone and want to marry her." Yet, for their daughters, they say "Qabool hai" without even considering her opinion. If she protests, they are ready to shoot her and throw her body in front of dogs. The most shameful thing is that they name this Pakhtoonism.

This is not Pakhtoonism. It is actually against Pakhtoon culture. Pakhtoons were people who considered all the girls of their society, neighborhood, and area as their own sisters. They were the brave people of history, but their bravery was not limited to oppressing their women. Pakhtoons were people who did not even raise a single glance at other women.

The Pakhtoon culture shown to us through dramas and TV shows is completely wrong. I have heard from my parents and grandparents that they used to watch TV in their neighbor’s house, boys and girls in the same room together, and return home at midnight. They used to play within the specific area of their street, playing cricket or hopscotch. That was the real Pakhtoon culture. Their minds were clear; they were truly green flags.

Modern Pakhtoons just use the name of their ancestors in the wrong way. Their so-called bravery is just limited to controlling their sisters and daughters. I believe that a true Pakhtoon is one who respects and cares for all girls the same way he cares for the girls in his own home.

This is the time to change your mindset because your daughters are facing big problems, but they are not sharing them with you because they know you will be the first to consider them wrong.

When a girl receives an unknown call, she becomes characterless in the eyes of every family member. But the same family sees their son talking to girls all night and never questions him. They ignore it as if nothing happened.

You might have checked the contact lists of your children. Your daughter does not use a single emoji with the name of her best friend because of your negative thinking. But your son has more than 100 contact numbers of girls, whether Pakistani, Indian, or from other countries. He chats with them in front of you, yet you never stop him—because he is a so-called boy.

Your daughters are dying of fear. Have you ever asked them about the problems they are facing? Not all dark skin tones are caused by sun rays—some are due to the stress and struggles they endure. Not all faces become fair because of whitening creams; brighten your daughters' faces with trust, not with serums.

Dear Parents,

It is a humble request: do not place the crown of honor on your daughters’ heads only. They are not strong enough to carry it alone. At least trust them. Listen to them. Give them time to explain. Understand them. But do not destroy them. If you support them, they will never seek love and care elsewhere.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

 GIVE THEM A PISTOL IN THEIR HAND AND ASK THEM TO SHOOT EVEN WHEN SOMEONE LOOKS AT THEM WITH BAD INTENTIONS—AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.

Even Islam and the Quran do not discriminate between men and women—so how can you?

Don’t you have to answer to Allah? Don’t you fear Him? Haven’t you read the ayah that says:

"FEAR GOD IN MATTERS RELATING TO YOUR WOMEN."

Mahnoor Ali 

1st year MBBS 

SWAT MEDICAL COLLEGE